November 10, 2010

us-versus-them moment #4,569

i stood, watching my son race up and down the sidewalk
with a friend who is a year older than him.
the friend's mother and i were discussing phonics.
i was having a problem helping luke learn "the exceptions"

to the rules when sounding words out.
oo, ou, ee, ade, ide...etc.
anyhoo, we were talking about said problem
when the mother turns and defensively says,
"don't worry about it,
they don't even teach that to my son yet."
conversation over, awkward silence.
i just shut my mouth and smiled
and went back to watching the kids play.
and in my head, i was saying,
"we're not homeschooling to just meet
the state's standard of excellence,
we're homeschooling so that our children
can meet their own standard of excellence,
whatever that may be"

i have a feeling i'm going to just learn to keep
my homeschooling dilemmas to myself,
so as to avoid awkward moments,
whether they be fueled by competition, defensiveness or ignorance.

and while i know it's not for every woman
and that that if every family tried this,
there might be an increase in school-grader-ecides
and mental breakdowns in parents,
i know why i am doing this
and the act of saying my "whys" out loud,
come off as judgmental and critical.

because when i say,
"i want the best for my children"
which is tricky,
because everyone wants the best for their children.
interpretation is the elemental difference.

it's a tricky new world.
any thoughts, feedback?
best wishes and keep on homeschooling.
your time -
it's the best gift that you can give your children in this world.


  1. Oh, how I know the feeling. It is so sad that we feel like we should just keep our mouths shut about homeschooling in fear of coming off wrong!! UGH! I have opened my mouth a time or two and have had some not ideal outcomes. **sigh** I don't have any suggestions. It is so hard to want to talk about homeschooling all the while wondering if something you say will be taken wrong.....

  2. I don't even mention it unless someone asks me a question about it (which doesn't happen that often). My new answer, to anyone who really wants to know, is "It's not for everyone...and I like to teach." :) :) Both are true statements and I've never had an argument about it.

    One of my best friends and I tease each other quite often about our different schooling decisions. We both think the other is nuts and we leave it at that. :) :)